- On Fandoms and Fetishes
- September 2nd, 2010
I love that Tumblr, just do it, go to it now. Fandoms are scary and most people shouldn't be allowed to touch a pencil, a computer, MS Paint or holyshit all of the above.
I find it BAFFLING how for absolutely every damn TV show, movie, musical artist, historical figure or book (no matter how crappy) there's a crazy fandom that goes with it, usually intent on writing about/drawing the characters in strange sexual situations that defy physics or human biology. It's crazy. It also makes me really wary to Google anything without safe search on, lest I get a whole page of inflation art, ladies with huge muscles and Spock as a gender-bending pregnant anime furry with tentacles (did I miss anything there?).
Dear crazy fandom people: What did you do before the internet? Did you write awful fanfics and just sort of...toss them in a glass bottle and hope for someone as equally obsessive as you finds it? Gee, I hope someone finds my fic about Harry Potter and Leonardo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles getting in on in the backseat of Nightrider.
I would love to actually have an in depth conversation with someone as to how they developed such a strange fetish, be it for inanimate objects, people suddenly gaining hundreds of pounds or...latex balloons, even. How exactly does sex become associated with such strange, impossible ideas? There must be a reason for it, even a limp one. Somehow, somewhere down the line there had to have been a trigger that made someone sit up and say, "Hey! I think it would be really hot if Lightning McQueen from Cars grew five times his size and starting humping the Empire State Building." (Please, please don't make me find out if somewhere out there in the abyss of the internet this fetish exists. Because I'm SURE it does.)
I haven't slept in a while, so forgive me. I really need to take a nap, I'm not sure how long it's been.